I'm sitting in the school Library surrounded by snakes. Contemplating reading a book. I'm really thirsty though, because I'm eating a chocolate bar. I went to a concert last night. A dude in my dorm offered to let me go with him because he had an extra ticket. The first band was a sort of folk-duo type thing. They were great live, but I'm not really into the recordings they have. The other band was sort of strange, but one of the two female lead singers was this blonde (maybe half Hispanic) girl with tattoos who I fell in love with immediately. I can't remember the name of either band... but the one with the girl was from America. And I tried to talk to one of the girls in the band before they played (she was at their merch table) by saying "Hey! I'm from America too!" She said "cool" and continued selling her £10 t-shirts (fucking rip-off, didn't buy anything from her). Honestly, what a bitch. If my band was in London and some American came up to me and tried to be nice by saying that he/she was from America I'd be so stoked! But I get "cool". What the fuck? I should have said "Oh yeah? You know what else is cool? I listened to your band on youtube today and you play stupid, shitty music and you suck. I got this ticket for free and I hope your plane crashes before your next European tour stop you rich motherfuckers."
Yeah... that would have made me feel better about the whole situation
Sunday 26 October 2008
Friday 24 October 2008
Can't Catch Casper
Well, nothing really exciting or funny has happened to me as of late, but I did attempt to go ghost hunting 2 nights ago... and I DID go ghost hunting. I just didn't find anything. I had a sudden urge to do this the day of (it was a Wednesday) and I spent about 4 hours doing research online and putting together a list of directions to get from one spot to the next, and it was ALL planned out perfectly. So around 8pm my friend calls me and says "oh, we're going to Froebel bar to have some drinks and blah blah blah" and I replied with, "No you're not dude, you're coming fuckin ghost hunting with me tonight". So he asked the dude he was with if he wanted to go ghost hunting, and of course he wanted to... he just didn't sound all that thrilled.
WHATEVER, we went. Most of the places were either impossible to get into, or the directions were wrong. I will try again in the coming weeks. There's this house that's supposedly really haunted in Westminster. I will go.
WHATEVER, we went. Most of the places were either impossible to get into, or the directions were wrong. I will try again in the coming weeks. There's this house that's supposedly really haunted in Westminster. I will go.
Thursday 16 October 2008
A Fridge With No Door Is An Air Conditioner
I didn't post anything yesterday. For this blog I'm going to leave out anything depressing/miserable and post funny/happy stories. If you want depressing/miserable, you can wait, because there will be plenty of that on the next Jettison record.. which is slowly coming along, by the way.. sloowly.
BUT... I have funny story from last night. My day was surprisingly very enjoyable yesterday. I woke up early (about 7:oo), made myself breakfast, went to embankment station, and spent most of the day with my "London As A Resource" class walking around central London. My teacher smoked cigarettes while teaching us, which I found hilariously strange. He has bad teeth, and he's smart and has the accent and all. Coolest teacher I have though. We went to some court houses, and I asked if we could get in on any murder trials and he said there wasn't much at that particular court, so he took us to one that has them more frequently. Unsuccessful, however.
ANYWAY, my day was fun blah blah blah. That night I went home. And I treated myself to a nicer bottle of wine than I normally would on a Wednesday night (but I don't have class until 4 on Thursdays), and I drank it. I went out and had a nice time with some friends, and ultimately ended up in my kitchen, alone and hungry. So I get some of my shit from the refrigerator an I'm kneeling down (because the tallest fucking dude on the floor of course gets the bottom shelf), and I fall on my ass. Well, obviously I need to get off of my ass to make a sandwich, so I (drunk) grab the open refrigerator door to pull my self up, and the entire fucking door breaks the fuck off. And I go "Shit!". At which point, I clumsily attempt to get the door back on its hinges, and I'm thinking in my mind that if I'm not able to, I'll just make it look closed so that the next person who opens it up will break it off again and I'd just act surprised and angry blah blah. But in this drunken state, I can't even do that successfully, and some girl on my floor walks in to me trying to get this broken fridge door back on, and goes "Greg! What did you do!?" I immediately drop the door and throw my hands up and say "I swear to God it wasn't me! I'm just trying to fix it!" Obviously she doesn't believe me, because I might have drooled those words out to where she didn't even understand, and she calls for other people to help her get it back on. And I'm standing there like an idiot with a stupid smile on my face watching them piss each other off trying to get it back on. Finally it's on and the first girl tells me to go to bed, to which I respond: "No, I'm still making my fucking sandwich."
End of story.. I made the sandwich, fell asleep and woke up, feeling fine.
snakes
BUT... I have funny story from last night. My day was surprisingly very enjoyable yesterday. I woke up early (about 7:oo), made myself breakfast, went to embankment station, and spent most of the day with my "London As A Resource" class walking around central London. My teacher smoked cigarettes while teaching us, which I found hilariously strange. He has bad teeth, and he's smart and has the accent and all. Coolest teacher I have though. We went to some court houses, and I asked if we could get in on any murder trials and he said there wasn't much at that particular court, so he took us to one that has them more frequently. Unsuccessful, however.
ANYWAY, my day was fun blah blah blah. That night I went home. And I treated myself to a nicer bottle of wine than I normally would on a Wednesday night (but I don't have class until 4 on Thursdays), and I drank it. I went out and had a nice time with some friends, and ultimately ended up in my kitchen, alone and hungry. So I get some of my shit from the refrigerator an I'm kneeling down (because the tallest fucking dude on the floor of course gets the bottom shelf), and I fall on my ass. Well, obviously I need to get off of my ass to make a sandwich, so I (drunk) grab the open refrigerator door to pull my self up, and the entire fucking door breaks the fuck off. And I go "Shit!". At which point, I clumsily attempt to get the door back on its hinges, and I'm thinking in my mind that if I'm not able to, I'll just make it look closed so that the next person who opens it up will break it off again and I'd just act surprised and angry blah blah. But in this drunken state, I can't even do that successfully, and some girl on my floor walks in to me trying to get this broken fridge door back on, and goes "Greg! What did you do!?" I immediately drop the door and throw my hands up and say "I swear to God it wasn't me! I'm just trying to fix it!" Obviously she doesn't believe me, because I might have drooled those words out to where she didn't even understand, and she calls for other people to help her get it back on. And I'm standing there like an idiot with a stupid smile on my face watching them piss each other off trying to get it back on. Finally it's on and the first girl tells me to go to bed, to which I respond: "No, I'm still making my fucking sandwich."
End of story.. I made the sandwich, fell asleep and woke up, feeling fine.
snakes
Tuesday 14 October 2008
WA NA NA!
Hello, hello... heeello . Hello! ..hello, hello. Hello.
I just returned from my kitchen, where I sloppily put together some eggs, bacon and toast, and left all of my shit out for the maid to clean up. Oh well, right? No I'm kidding, I cleaned most of it up.
Some bro outside my window just said "HA d'you go out last night?" .. Probably a fucker.
Anyway, before my mediocre breakfast I had ancient Greek... last class of the day... noon it's done. Did you know there's TWENTY-FOUR ways to say "THE". That's the fucking stupidest word to make 24 variations of! If I made the language there would be like 30 ways to say "nutsack" or "Hey bro, put your nutsack back, no one wants to see that shit" or "good goin', nutsack". But no... "the". That is an ideal word to talk about to put students into a deep sleep (like, make students sleep forever.... kill themselves). I won't get too hung up on it. I need to focus on learning how to say "the honor" and "the goddess". But in order to do so, I need to pick which "the" to use! What the FUCK!?
Yesterday was almost a complete super failure (as far as the cute girl in my sociology class goes). I walk in, sit in front of her (bad move, because I wasn't able to stare at her the whole class through the back of my fucking head), so I had to look... at the teacher, who has a peculiar hearing problem. Apparently she could NOT hear the word "profit" that this one dude tried to say as an answer to one of her questions. He really had to say it 7 or 8 times, and by that time I was just straight up laughing. But some old fart in my class mumbled out spit and words, and I couldn't even fucking hear the geezer, but the teacher heard her PERFECTLY and answered the question, and went back to not hearing shit. Oh wait.. the girl. So I didn't get a chance to say a thing to her the entire 1.5 hour class (usually is 2 hours), and finally we get dismissed and I'm like "fuck yourself, Greg, you fail". And I begin talking to the teacher about some problem I have, because I'm not on the attendance sheet (still not solved), and I see the girl walk out (while I'm talking to this deaf teacher), and she smiles and says "hi" and waves, and I do the same but I'm like 'SHIT, THIS TEACHER NEEDS TO SHUT UP SO I CAN CHASE HER!' And of course she won't let me go she talked for like 31 seconds longer and I end it real fast and power walk/jog out to the courtyard, and she's nowhere! And I'm just like FUCK, now I have to wait another whole week. She could get laid 15 times between then and now, and I'll get nothing. Maybe I'll see her during the week again. I should've just turned around and started talking to her instead of listening to the teacher in the 90 minutes I had to do so.
Now I may go into central London to buy some shit. I need to buy some shit, I haven't bought all that much shit.
If anyone from CT reads this,
geilbolf (that's how you sat "nutsack" in my new language.))))))
I just returned from my kitchen, where I sloppily put together some eggs, bacon and toast, and left all of my shit out for the maid to clean up. Oh well, right? No I'm kidding, I cleaned most of it up.
Some bro outside my window just said "HA d'you go out last night?" .. Probably a fucker.
Anyway, before my mediocre breakfast I had ancient Greek... last class of the day... noon it's done. Did you know there's TWENTY-FOUR ways to say "THE". That's the fucking stupidest word to make 24 variations of! If I made the language there would be like 30 ways to say "nutsack" or "Hey bro, put your nutsack back, no one wants to see that shit" or "good goin', nutsack". But no... "the". That is an ideal word to talk about to put students into a deep sleep (like, make students sleep forever.... kill themselves). I won't get too hung up on it. I need to focus on learning how to say "the honor" and "the goddess". But in order to do so, I need to pick which "the" to use! What the FUCK!?
Yesterday was almost a complete super failure (as far as the cute girl in my sociology class goes). I walk in, sit in front of her (bad move, because I wasn't able to stare at her the whole class through the back of my fucking head), so I had to look... at the teacher, who has a peculiar hearing problem. Apparently she could NOT hear the word "profit" that this one dude tried to say as an answer to one of her questions. He really had to say it 7 or 8 times, and by that time I was just straight up laughing. But some old fart in my class mumbled out spit and words, and I couldn't even fucking hear the geezer, but the teacher heard her PERFECTLY and answered the question, and went back to not hearing shit. Oh wait.. the girl. So I didn't get a chance to say a thing to her the entire 1.5 hour class (usually is 2 hours), and finally we get dismissed and I'm like "fuck yourself, Greg, you fail". And I begin talking to the teacher about some problem I have, because I'm not on the attendance sheet (still not solved), and I see the girl walk out (while I'm talking to this deaf teacher), and she smiles and says "hi" and waves, and I do the same but I'm like 'SHIT, THIS TEACHER NEEDS TO SHUT UP SO I CAN CHASE HER!' And of course she won't let me go she talked for like 31 seconds longer and I end it real fast and power walk/jog out to the courtyard, and she's nowhere! And I'm just like FUCK, now I have to wait another whole week. She could get laid 15 times between then and now, and I'll get nothing. Maybe I'll see her during the week again. I should've just turned around and started talking to her instead of listening to the teacher in the 90 minutes I had to do so.
Now I may go into central London to buy some shit. I need to buy some shit, I haven't bought all that much shit.
If anyone from CT reads this,
geilbolf (that's how you sat "nutsack" in my new language.))))))
Monday 13 October 2008
Monday Funday
I just woke woke up. I have class in 20 minutes. If I'm 15 minutes late I won't get in. Maybe I should be 15 minutes late. Everytime I'm a little late to that class, everyone has already filed into the back rows because they're cool obviously, so I'm stuck basically sitting on the fucking teachers lap 2 inches away from the board. But not only that... I come in late, and I have to go sit on top of the fucking teacher? Gimme a break. He notices every single time and looks at me like I'm a fuckin asshole. My parents aren't here to wake me up shithead! I'm going to be late. My alarm is a fucking rooster call, it just makes me angry, it doesn't wake me up. So the next alarm is my phone, and it just vibrates (hehe), but if it's on the floor or in my pants or some shit I don't hear it! So I have to rely on the rooster noise to scrape me out of bed and into my boring Monday class. Am I prepared today? No.. but I'm awake.
On a different Monday note, there's the cutest English girl I've seen here so far in my afternoon class. Last Monday I was planning on trying to talk to her... and I did! Sorta. I had asked her about homework early on in the class and she smiled and told me and blah blah blah. So later in the class, all of the lights were off. The teacher asked if anyone wanted them on. No one said anything. She said "no one?" I figured this was my chance to draw attention to myself. I raised my hand and smiled and said "I need them on." And everyone groans and wants to kill me. And I had to insist for a few minutes that I really really wanted them on, and NO ONE else did. Everyone just looked at me, and the cute girl infront of me turned around and laughed and said "you're just trying to be difficult." And I said "fuck me, please." And she laughed an took my hand and we left class to get down in my mercedes then hit the hot tub in my mansion suite.
....Some of that was actually true. Huh, we'll see what happens today, I guess.
OH but I really did see her at the bar the same night I saw the slick "fuck yes" nodding dude, an she said "hi" to me, and that she recognized me. But neither of us know eachother's names... That's what I'll do today. And take her back to the Palace ONCE AGAIN
On a different Monday note, there's the cutest English girl I've seen here so far in my afternoon class. Last Monday I was planning on trying to talk to her... and I did! Sorta. I had asked her about homework early on in the class and she smiled and told me and blah blah blah. So later in the class, all of the lights were off. The teacher asked if anyone wanted them on. No one said anything. She said "no one?" I figured this was my chance to draw attention to myself. I raised my hand and smiled and said "I need them on." And everyone groans and wants to kill me. And I had to insist for a few minutes that I really really wanted them on, and NO ONE else did. Everyone just looked at me, and the cute girl infront of me turned around and laughed and said "you're just trying to be difficult." And I said "fuck me, please." And she laughed an took my hand and we left class to get down in my mercedes then hit the hot tub in my mansion suite.
....Some of that was actually true. Huh, we'll see what happens today, I guess.
OH but I really did see her at the bar the same night I saw the slick "fuck yes" nodding dude, an she said "hi" to me, and that she recognized me. But neither of us know eachother's names... That's what I'll do today. And take her back to the Palace ONCE AGAIN
Sunday 12 October 2008
This place is the balls, AMIRITE
Obviously, I've decided to make a blog. I've been going to school just outside central London, England for about a month (it'll be 1 month in 4 days I believe). And today... 4 days short of a month into my trip, I'm writing about it. I'll stop once I'm not here anymore.
Before I forget, let me remind myself and you of the gigantic ass-snake I saw the other day. I was in a bar on campus, and this clown was bobbing his head, just hanging out in the middle of the bar.. with no one. I was waiting behind a group of already wasted "uni" kids trying to push their way to the front to order 26 tequilla shots for a whole table of people they didn't know but who probably ended up having an orgy that night, and didn't invite me, because I didn't pay for anyone's drink. So I'm standing behind all those mothefuckers, waiting patiently for a single pint of beer I could enjoy at a picnic table outside, and this dude is just standing in the middle of the floor, no clear cut homies, not talking to anyone, looking around with this grin on his face, bobbing his head. He's sipping some sort alcoholic beverage (which might explain the look on this dudes face, that or he was getting sleepy from a roofie someone slipped into it), and I can see him looking at me through the corner of my eye, and I pretend to look at the "menu" of drinks behind the bar. But obviously I can't see it behind the crowd of drunk bitches, and this guy is just waiting for me to take a look so I could appreciate his.. sweet pinstripe buttondown shirt or something. I give in. I take a look at this guy, and he's Mr. Cool. His hair is slicked back (but I don't understand how because it didn't look wet or anything. It just looked like my dry, unslickable hair, but it was slicked. Maybe you'd have to see it to believe it.) And he's a little shorter than me, takes a sip of his drink, looks at me (with that weird grin), nods (not just a single, this was like a triple nod... like a "fuck yes") and looks away (all the while bobbing his head to the shitty song pounding over everyone's voices). Why the FUCK was it so important for me to look at this dude if he was just going to nod yes to me and continue looking like a slick master of cool, and not talk to anyone. I didn't let it bother me, but I saw him again the next night talking to one of my friends and I started laughing alot because he looked exactly the same and he just looks like such a goofy ass dude, when really if you saw this guy you'd think he's a chick magnet or whatever. I think he's just a snake. Honestly, he was like the definition of snake. You don't hate him for any reason, but I knew he'd slither away from the bar that night and eat a cow whole or some shit.
Oh yeah and if you're wondering how ugly the girls in England are, they're not all ugly. There's plenty of hot girls on campus. OH, and if you're wondering if I'm getting any action. No, I'm not. So that answers that.
I'll keep this updated.
Before I forget, let me remind myself and you of the gigantic ass-snake I saw the other day. I was in a bar on campus, and this clown was bobbing his head, just hanging out in the middle of the bar.. with no one. I was waiting behind a group of already wasted "uni" kids trying to push their way to the front to order 26 tequilla shots for a whole table of people they didn't know but who probably ended up having an orgy that night, and didn't invite me, because I didn't pay for anyone's drink. So I'm standing behind all those mothefuckers, waiting patiently for a single pint of beer I could enjoy at a picnic table outside, and this dude is just standing in the middle of the floor, no clear cut homies, not talking to anyone, looking around with this grin on his face, bobbing his head. He's sipping some sort alcoholic beverage (which might explain the look on this dudes face, that or he was getting sleepy from a roofie someone slipped into it), and I can see him looking at me through the corner of my eye, and I pretend to look at the "menu" of drinks behind the bar. But obviously I can't see it behind the crowd of drunk bitches, and this guy is just waiting for me to take a look so I could appreciate his.. sweet pinstripe buttondown shirt or something. I give in. I take a look at this guy, and he's Mr. Cool. His hair is slicked back (but I don't understand how because it didn't look wet or anything. It just looked like my dry, unslickable hair, but it was slicked. Maybe you'd have to see it to believe it.) And he's a little shorter than me, takes a sip of his drink, looks at me (with that weird grin), nods (not just a single, this was like a triple nod... like a "fuck yes") and looks away (all the while bobbing his head to the shitty song pounding over everyone's voices). Why the FUCK was it so important for me to look at this dude if he was just going to nod yes to me and continue looking like a slick master of cool, and not talk to anyone. I didn't let it bother me, but I saw him again the next night talking to one of my friends and I started laughing alot because he looked exactly the same and he just looks like such a goofy ass dude, when really if you saw this guy you'd think he's a chick magnet or whatever. I think he's just a snake. Honestly, he was like the definition of snake. You don't hate him for any reason, but I knew he'd slither away from the bar that night and eat a cow whole or some shit.
Oh yeah and if you're wondering how ugly the girls in England are, they're not all ugly. There's plenty of hot girls on campus. OH, and if you're wondering if I'm getting any action. No, I'm not. So that answers that.
I'll keep this updated.
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